The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret

How many times as a kid did I say yes to my parents when responding to a request they made of me, i.e., clean up your room, take out the garbage, do your homework, etc? Sometimes my “yes” was really “no” since I would not do the thing they asked. Other times when I felt bold and full of bravado I would say “no” to things they asked, feel guilty afterwards and then go do what they asked.
Our own lives are not so different from the Gospel characters Jesus refers to in his story about the person who says, “yes” but really means “no” and the person who says, “no” but really means “yes.” We are both characters in the story, sometimes we are virtuous and sometimes we are not. If we do not avoid the task at hand we feel better upon its completion, however if we avoid the task altogether once the opportunity has passed by we feel regret – pain.

I recently heard a quote from a former NFL Coach who placed a sign above the locker room which read: “Pain of Discipline or Pain of Regret.” He challenged his players to accept the pain of working hard or suffering the pain of defeat. No different for us as Christians, we can either accept the pain of disciplining ourselves, by doing what God asks, i.e. to be holy or we can choose to say no and sin, and then feel the pain of guilt.

St. Paul tells Timothy, “Discipline your life for the purpose of Godliness.” (1 Timothy 4:7) What is Godliness, well; it’s simply not just cleanliness. It entails much - much more.

The Greek word for Godliness is Eusebeia and in the koine Greek it means spiritual maturity, inner piety, something in the core of the person that permeates one’s whole disposition, i.e. a man of God, a woman of God.
One does not simply wake up one day and become Godly. One must work at it. This work is not done to earn something, especially salvation, but it is done because one recognizes that everything good is from God, therefore it’s logical and more importantly, vital to my happiness to seek and do the things of God.

The first thing one must do is to seek God in prayer, then more prayer, and then some more. Communication is vital for a friendship to flourish. For us Catholics prayer takes up many forms, Scripture reflection, meditative prayer, contemplation, novenas, rosary, adoration, and simply just speaking with Jesus.
The most vital for us Catholics is our public prayer of the mass. In it we receive and hear God speaking to us through Scripture and then Jesus making a home within us in the reception of the Eucharist. Sometimes mass and prayer feels like discipline and we on occasion want to avoid discipline, so we do something else, e.g. take little Cindy to her soccer game, go on vacation where there are no Catholic Churches for 500 hundred miles, etc. Afterwards we feel the pain of regret, we could have gone Saturday night or we could have drove 5 miles to the Church while we were on vacation or little Cindy who is 6 years old and her parents who project her to be the next Hope Solo really needs to take a break and get to mass.

Married couples will work real hard developing their relationships and if you speak to people who have been married for a while they will be the first to tell you that marriage is not just about feelings, but also about discipline, love is hard work, don’t be fooled by Hollywood’s concept of being swept off your feet and that you will be in total euphoria for the next fifty years of your marriage, it also takes work to be happy. The same is true for us in our relationship with Jesus. Many times we feel like we are swept off of our feet by his grace and love, and then others time we grow tired in which we say, “Yes, I will do that Lord,” but then we do not and then we feel the pain of regret. Now, some have numbed themselves completely from this regret, formulating their own dictates outside of the body of the Church, e.g., I do not need to go to mass, I am spiritual, I pray at home. I wonder if these so called spiritual persons actually spend even five minutes in prayer, they have numbed themselves from the pain of regret, moving away from Godliness and being spiritually mature.

The Lord is constantly giving us daily tasks, not simply busy work, but doing so to build up virtue in us. The thing he desires most is relationship with us and that happens through mass and prayer. In order for us to yes, really mean it, and then actually do what is asked takes courage, hard work, discipline, and when accomplished we feel good. It is not just a fleeting feeling, but one that moves us at our core, since it is there that God resides - in my doing, in my being virtuous. So, who will you be? Will you accept the pain of discipline or the pain of regret? I pray for us all that it will be discipline.

Fr. John