Is the Lord calling you? In today’s first reading from 1 Samuel chapter 3 verses. 1 thru 19, we hear that poor Samuel did not understand that it was God who was calling him and waking him up from his sleep. Finally with the help of Eli, Samuel was then ready to respond and we hear that beautiful answer from Samuel, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.”
The Church celebrates and holds this week as National Vocations Awareness Week. The Church is trying to make aware in those who are contemplating a call to Religious life, Priesthood, or the Diaconate to respond to God just as Samuel did. The Church is also trying to plant a seed in those who may not even be aware of their call just yet.
I would like to share with you my own journey to the priesthood. What made you decide to become a priest, Fr. John? The answer may be quite long so please bear with me and spare me a few of your moments.
My journey began a long time ago. The first hint that God sent to my family, more so than just me, was when I was three years old on vacation in Croatia. My parents took my brother Louie and I, Danny wasn’t born yet, to the Covenant where my mom was a sister for about six years, never finally professed. My mom wanted to visit the sisters, but more so to show the Mother Superior that she did not leave just to live some wild type of life, rather my mom was called to marriage by God while she was contemplating becoming a nun. She approached her mother superior about her desire, dreams, and strong call from God to marriage. The mother superior resisted, but anyone who knows my mom, and that Croatian stubbornness, knows that she would not relent. Finally she was released, lived in Italy for a short while before moving to America and meeting my dad and marrying him. She wanted to show Mother that she was married, happy and now had two children.
I do not remember this; I only have images in my mind. When we arrived my mother told me that they snuck us around back so that the other sisters would not see my mom with a man and children, God forbid, also this was 1972 and some of Europe was still “old” as they say. We had lunch with mother superior and my mom’s novice mistress. At the end of the lunch mother said to my mom, “Since you left God will want one of your boys to be a priest.” My mother, again with her stubbornness asked, “Which one?” Mother proceeded to pick me up and said, “This one.”
I had no awareness of that story until the night before I was ordained. My mom shared that with me on the evening of August 12th and the next day I lay prostrate while the Litany of Saints was sung. There is one more thing; my mom left the convent on August 13th, same day of my ordination. God knows what He is doing!
The bigger question is, “When did I realize I was going to be a priest?” I thought about it when I was young, but quickly dismissed it when I was in 8th grade. In High School I dated and at one point I dated very seriously, engaged and looking forward to marriage. Even then though I would sometimes think about it. I would attend mass with my girl friend and watch the priest closely. At the time I was not fervent in my faith, to call me lukewarm would have been too nice. I believed in God and strongly, but I only practiced because she did, nevertheless I used to watch the priest and think, “I can do that and I can do it better.” I guess that was my competitive nature, my friends from Fairview could attest to that. I grew up on sports and thought that coaching was going to be my life. I’ll get to that soon. Anyway, sitting there with my girl friend – it sounds strange saying that now, well, I would imagine myself in the alb, chasuble, and stole, saying the prayers, and most of all preaching. As a coach I loved to give motivational talks and I was good at it. When I went to mass I felt that most priests were not motivating me, it was the same thing over and over again, “Be good, follow the commandments, mother church, sacraments, blah.” I had very good coaches in grammar school and high school who were excellent motivators, John Schettino, John and Mike Messica, and Coach Talamini and Coach Kempton. They made us believe, they helped us to love the thing we were part of. Many of the priests I heard could not do that. Some were better than others, a handful was exceptional, and many just read off a prepared paper or told the same thing over and over again. I felt and could hear God’s voice in my heart saying, “If you can do it better than stand up and do it.” I would lie in bed and dream up homilies, this is the same guy planning to get married. I never shared this with anyone, let alone my girlfriend. I would continue to dream up these homilies even after we parted ways right up until I entered seminary about six years later.
My direction in life was heading towards coaching basketball and my dream was to coach in College and some opportunities were presenting themselves. In 1995 through a good friend I returned to the Lord and had a very powerful conversion experience, I will share that some other time or we will be here forever. Through that experience I started to think very seriously about doing more, about entering the seminary and eventually becoming a priest. I finally entered religious life in 1998 when I began with the Pallottines. Now, however, I am a diocesan priest as I left the Pallottines in July of 2007, and I have nothing but fond memories of life with them and wish them many blessings.
Thinking back now I ask myself, “How was I like Samuel? Well, for me it took God more than 3 times to call me, it was more like 3,000 times, but like my mom I am a stubborn man and God had to get through that thick Croatian stubbornness. I had everything planned out, Coach Division I basketball, get married, have 2.1 kids and the white picket fence with the great looking German Shepherd patrolling the grounds. Yet, God called and he didn’t whisper for me, He had to shout otherwise I wouldn’t have heard Him.
There is more to the story but that’s enough for now in case I bore you into oblivion. I find the priesthood to be a precious thing and sacred. I still cannot believe that God called me; you see there is hope for all of us. Seriously though, priesthood is beautiful, the friendships that you make, the ministries that you carry out, especially mourning with others during loss and when you rejoice with others when there is new life is beyond words. I ask you to stop and think, is God calling you to the same thing? Can you picture yourself by the altar, preaching, and celebrating mass? Maybe like me you’re being a little stubborn or maybe a little afraid is what it actually was\is. “Be not afraid,” step up - for you are precious and God wants you to be his herald. And maybe, just maybe you might be a better preacher than me!
Disclaimer: Most priests are good preachers I was just being too judgmental at that time, that’s youth and a little pride I guess. Fr. John
No comments:
Post a Comment