Strength for the Long Walk

One of my favorite biblical stories is that of Abraham.  From its beginning, when God asks him to leave his father’s house, until he dies as an old man, it is not only a story of wonder and amazement, but more importantly one of relationship and grace.  In some ways, we can point to Abraham and correlate him with Mary; he being the Marian prototype of the Old Testament.  We don’t believe that Abraham was born immaculate, or that he was sin-free.  No one holds a place equal to our Blessed Mother, but if anyone comes in what we would consider a close second, it would surely be our father Abraham.

Both Mary and Abraham always said “yes” to God regardless of what he asked.  For Abraham, the most difficult thing God asked was for him to sacrifice his own son.  You can imagine what that must have felt like for Abraham, if you are a father, and it was you who had to take your son on that long walk up that mountain to offer him to the Lord.  You can imagine what it would be like, if you are a mother, and you had to see your son carry a cross on the road to Calvary.  Both Abraham and Mary took that long walk even though God asked for the impossible.

The Lord, however, does not leave us without the strength to carry out the seemingly impossible.  Rather, he prepares us slowly, quietly, and sometimes very obviously.  Abraham would not have been prepared to offer Isaac if that had been the first thing God asked of him.  When you read the story of Abraham, you can see how God was journeying with him and giving him strength.  God spoke directly and indirectly to Abraham, visited him in person at least twice: once as the King of Salem, and another time as (one could even argue) the Trinity, when appearing to him and actually dining with him.  You can see that a relationship was being developed, one with a sense of trust and, more importantly, love.

The apostles themselves would be asked to accept things that were very difficult: for example, that Jesus would have to suffer, and that they themselves would suffer (as a great majority of them would be martyrs).  And yet, Jesus strengthens them before he asks such sacrifices from them.  He appears to them in glory on Mt. Tabor so that they would see the true glory of God, so that they would remember it and have it carry them through difficult times.

Just like the apostles, our father Abraham, and even our Blessed Mother, we all face major difficulties in life.  Do not think that these holy souls did not face tribulation, suffering, and undergo “great tests”; they did.  They were no different than us.  All of us share life’s sufferings.  Jesus knows this as well, for no one knows it better.  Therefore, Jesus gives us moments of transfiguration so that we will endure whatever life may throw at us.  He also does not let us be tested beyond our means, as St. Paul reminds us, “God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Cor. 10:13, NABRE)

The question, however, remains.  How and when does Jesus provide moments of transfiguration?  For Abraham, it was direct and indirect conversation with the Lord.  For Mary, it was through an angel, prophecies by Simeon and Anna, and probably other means not mentioned in Scripture.  Now, you may think it unfair since we do not receive the same powerful and direct revelations like Abraham, Mary, or the Apostles.  That is true.  It is very rare that God will show himself as he did to Abraham or be transfigured before our eyes, but since their tests were much greater than ours, they needed more intervention by God, if you will.  For remember, “Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.” (Luke 10:48, NABRE).  No one was entrusted with more than Mary, as she is the Theotokos, the God-bearer, or Mother of God.  Our father Abraham was entrusted with becoming the father of faith, hence, the father of many nations.  We can see how they would need great help.

Though we may not be entrusted with that kind of responsibility, God still gives us many talents - gifts (c.f. Mt. 25:14-28, Rom. 12:6-8, Jam. 1:17) that we are to use for the sake of building up God’s Kingdom on earth.

Now, to answer the question of ‘how and when does God come to us “transfigured” to provide us with strength for our journey’?  There are the obvious ways, such as through the sacraments, through the mass, and through personal and public prayer.  There are the less obvious ways, such as a dream, an intuition, the subtle conversation with others, (i.e. the whisper in the wind).  God never leaves us alone but walks with us every step of the way, no matter what.  The problem is not that God abandons us; rather, the problem is that we sometimes forget about him, or we may feel he is not helping us when we need it.

If you need help, right here and right now, pray and ask for it.  Remember that Jesus not only transfigured for the apostles on Mt. Tabor, but he will also provide us with the same as we celebrate the Eucharist.  Jesus will be with us in his glory.  However, if you are looking only with your eyes, you will only see a host.  If you are looking with your soul, as did Abraham, Mary, and the Apostles, then you will see the King of Salem, the baby in the manger, and the Lord of Glory transfigured before the eyes of his apostles on Mt. Tabor. 

God bless you,

Fr. John

picture from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Abraham_and_Isaac_before_the_Sacrifice,_Jan_Victors,_1642.jpg

Ash Wednesday: Return

The Prophet Joel tells us, “Return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, weeping, and mourning; rend your hearts, not your garments.”  (Joel 2:12-13, NAB) This “returning” is nothing less than turning around from the direction we were heading in and moving back towards God.

In the Gospels when Jesus begins his public ministry he often says, “Repent and believe in the Good News, for the kingdom of God is at hand.”  The word repent comes from the Greek word “metanoia," meaning to to think beyond one's own interpretation or vision, as well as meaning to turn around, to return.

Lent is that time when we have to stop walking in the direction we want and to actually turn around both literally and figuratively.   There are so many things we get caught up in life, many which we use as comforts, rewards, and outlets.  Often times those comforts are not healthy, be it overindulgence in drink, food, smoking.  Sometimes we reward ourselves by buying things, the latest cell phone, plasma TV, clothes, or whatever it may be.  The justifications we use are, “I deserve it, it’s not that bad, the Church is wrong on this one – we are living in the 21^st century, etc.”  Sometimes our justifications are more serious, i.e. I make the rules concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage; matters concerning abortion or contraceptive use.  If one reads Scripture closely and pays attention then one will easily see that it is not some Pope or a bunch of Bishops making the rules up as they please, rather “the rules” if you will, come right from the lips of Jesus.  Start with the Gospel of Matthew!

I don’t simply point the finger, I too, and all clergy are also sinners who need to turn around, and trust me I like walking in my own direction sometimes.  I feel like I am in control, my way is better, I know what I’m doing – sound familiar.

Well, Jesus doesn’t leave us walking in our own direction for too long.  He keeps sending reminders, sometimes as little hints, like a whisper, other times, like today – Ash Wednesday a long and loud cry of, “Return to me.”  He does this to keep us on the right path.  We place those ashes on our heads not only as a sign to the world that we die to self and are united to Christ on the cross, but that we reject our own way, and walk his way, the way of Jesus. 

So my friends, return completely to the Lord, if something is holding you back surrender it to God, rely on God’s mercy and not your own strength, leave everything at the Cross, because in 40 + days we are going to take a long walk with Jesus on the road to Calvary and there will be no strength in us to carry around too much baggage because the Cross is heavy enough.  Leave it behind.  Turn around!  Walk towards Jesus!

FJ

Until We Meet Again

My dear friends,

            

The last three and a half years serving first at St. Anne’s in Elmer, St. Joseph’s in Woodstown, and then in the Catholic Community of the Holy Spirit has been wonderful, rewarding and very blessed.  To be able to minister to you in your darkest times as well as in your most joyous has been a precious gift from God.  I am humbled that the Lord would place me in the midst of such kind, welcoming, and admirable folks.

            

Saying goodbye is never easy.  The parish is my home and the parishioners are my family.  It is always difficult to go our separate ways when family members take leave of one another.  Shakespeare was right when he wrote, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” 

It is sorrowful because leaving you is so difficult.  I remember when Fr. Ed left for his new assignment some two years ago or so and he was so upset and emotionally moved.  I wondered why he was so upset, we are priests; this is what we are supposed to do.  Little did I know that I would feel the same way.  God has a sense of humor, so as I stood there watching Fr. Ed thinking, “I will be stronger when I have to say goodbye,” it seems now that he held it together better than I.  God loves to humble us.

Leaving is also sweet in the sense that the Lord is giving me another opportunity to serve others, to go on a new journey which is always exciting, meeting new people, other Christians whom I hope to share many Gospel stories with and begin new fellowships. 

You can see how we live in the tension of this sweet-sorrow as priests.  I am sure the apostles felt it as well, moving from one place to another, but that is the essence of our vocation, “Go from town to town proclaiming the Good News.”

   

I will always keep you in my heart and prayers and know this is not goodbye, but just, “Until we meet again.”  I am proud to say that I am your brother and that you were my first parish, St. Joes and St. Anne’s, later becoming The Catholic Community of the Holy Spirit.  I ask that you pray for me to be a good priest always at the service of others.  My brothers and sisters, I love you and pray the Lord to bless you abundantly and always keep you in the palm of his hands.

I leave you with the words of Stonewall Jackson when he said goodbye to the 1^st Brigade, especially in how all of you, St. Anne’s, St. Joes, and Holy Name have carried yourselves throughout the very difficult transition into becoming a new community, you folks are too good and I am humbled to be in your presence.   I changed General Jackson’s words a little so they would work, God bless you.

            

“I shall look with anxiety to your future, and I trust that whenever I shall hear of the Catholic Community of the Holy Spirit, it will be of nobler deeds achieved and higher reputation won.  In our Universal Church you are the 1^st, in our Diocese you are the 1^st, in our deanery you are the 1^st, in the affections of your priest you are the 1^st, and I hope by your future deeds and bearing you will be handed down to posterity, and always remembered as the 1^st, because you will always be first to me…God speed!

Fr. John

Final Schedule

Friends, My remaining schedule is as follows:
Tuesday Feb 7th         St Joes 7:30am
Wednesday Feb 8th    St Joes 7:30am
Friday Feb 10th          Holy Name 9am
Saturday Feb 11th      Mullica Hill PC 4:30pm
Sunday   Feb 12th       Mater Dei 10am
Sunday   Feb 19th       Woodstown PC 9 and 11:30am

A Little Time Off

My friends, My blogs will resume after Feb. 20th, right now we are doing a four part series on the mass and I will be going away for a week, going on the vacation that never happened back in November when my dad got sick.  Will be heading down to FLA and taking my mom to relax in Daytona Beach, today the water temp in Daytona (Jan 26) was 71.5, I hope that holds, anything over 63-64 and I'm in that water.

Be back soon, God bless you, FJ

Thinking about my Dad and Things

A couple of months ago I posted a blog on "Change"  It was intended for our community in dealing with the changes to the Roman Missal.  Little did I know the Lord was preparing me for major changes, one being the passing of my dad.  This Song "All at Once" from the Airborne Toxic Event has helped me to reflect on change, as well as prayer obviously.  Here are the lyrics that hit home for me.

"We grow old all at once
And it comes like a punch
In the gut, in the back, in the face
When it seems someone's lied
And our parents have died
Then we hold onto each other in their place
And I feel the water risin' around us
Maybe that's okay
Yeah, I feel the world changin' all at once
I guess it'll be okay"

Lyrics by The Airborne Toxic Event

My Journey to the Priesthood

 Is the Lord calling you?  In today’s first reading from 1 Samuel chapter 3 verses. 1 thru 19, we hear that poor Samuel did not understand that it was God who was calling him and waking him up from his sleep.  Finally with the help of Eli, Samuel was then ready to respond and we hear that beautiful answer from Samuel, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.”

The Church celebrates and holds this week as National Vocations Awareness Week.  The Church is trying to make aware in those who are contemplating a call to Religious life, Priesthood, or the Diaconate to respond to God just as Samuel did.  The Church is also trying to plant a seed in those who may not even be aware of their call just yet.

I would like to share with you my own journey to the priesthood.  What made you decide to become a priest, Fr. John?  The answer may be quite long so please bear with me and spare me a few of your moments.

My journey began a long time ago.  The first hint that God sent to my family, more so than just me, was when I was three years old on vacation in Croatia.  My parents took my brother Louie and I, Danny wasn’t born yet, to the Covenant where my mom was a sister for about six years, never finally professed.  My mom wanted to visit the sisters, but more so to show the Mother Superior that she did not leave just to live some wild type of life, rather my mom was called to marriage by God while she was contemplating becoming a nun.  She approached her mother superior about her desire, dreams, and strong call from God to marriage.  The mother superior resisted, but anyone who knows my mom, and that Croatian stubbornness, knows that she would not relent.  Finally she was released, lived in Italy for a short while before moving to America and meeting my dad and marrying him.  She wanted to show Mother that she was married, happy and now had two children.

I do not remember this; I only have images in my mind.  When we arrived my mother told me that they snuck us around back so that the other sisters would not see my mom with a man and children, God forbid, also this was 1972 and some of Europe was still “old” as they say.  We had lunch with mother superior and my mom’s novice mistress.  At the end of the lunch mother said to my mom, “Since you left God will want one of your boys to be a priest.”  My mother, again with her stubbornness asked, “Which one?”  Mother proceeded to pick me up and said, “This one.”

I had no awareness of that story until the night before I was ordained.  My mom shared that with me on the evening of August 12^th and the next day I lay prostrate while the Litany of Saints was sung.  There is one more thing; my mom left the convent on August 13^th, same day of my ordination.  God knows what He is doing!

The bigger question is, “When did I realize I was going to be a priest?”  I thought about it when I was young, but quickly dismissed it when I was in 8^th grade.  In High School I dated and at one point I dated very seriously, engaged and looking forward to marriage.   Even then though I would sometimes think about it.  I would attend mass with my girl friend and watch the priest closely.  At the time I was not fervent in my faith, to call me lukewarm would have been too nice.  I believed in God and strongly, but I only practiced because she did, nevertheless I used to watch the priest and think, “I can do that and I can do it better.”  I guess that was my competitive nature, my friends from Fairview could attest to that.  I grew up on sports and thought that coaching was going to be my life.  I’ll get to that soon.  Anyway, sitting there with my girl friend – it sounds strange saying that now, well, I would imagine myself in the alb, chasuble, and stole, saying the prayers, and most of all preaching.  As a coach I loved to give motivational talks and I was good at it.  When I went to mass I felt that most priests were not motivating me, it was the same thing over and over again, “Be good, follow the commandments, mother church, sacraments, blah.”  I had very good coaches in grammar school and high school who were excellent motivators, John Schettino, John and Mike Messica, and Coach Talamini and Coach Kempton.  They made us believe, they helped us to love the thing we were part of.  Many of the priests I heard could not do that.  Some were better than others, a handful was exceptional, and many just read off a prepared paper or told the same thing over and over again.  I felt and could hear God’s voice in my heart saying, “If you can do it better than stand up and do it.”  I would lie in bed and dream up homilies, this is the same guy planning to get married.  I never shared this with anyone, let alone my girlfriend.  I would continue to dream up these homilies even after we parted ways right up until I entered seminary about six years later.

My direction in life was heading towards coaching basketball and my dream was to coach in College and some opportunities were presenting themselves.  In 1995 through a good friend I returned to the Lord and had a very powerful conversion experience, I will share that some other time or we will be here forever.  Through that experience I started to think very seriously about doing more, about entering the seminary and eventually becoming a priest.  I finally entered religious life in 1998 when I began with the Pallottines.  Now, however, I am a diocesan priest as I left the Pallottines in July of 2007, and I have nothing but fond memories of life with them and wish them many blessings.

Thinking back now I ask myself, “How was I like Samuel?  Well, for me it took God more than 3 times to call me, it was more like 3,000 times, but like my mom I am a stubborn man and God had to get through that thick Croatian stubbornness.  I had everything planned out, Coach Division I basketball, get married, have 2.1 kids and the white picket fence with the great looking German Shepherd patrolling the grounds.  Yet, God called and he didn’t whisper for me, He had to shout otherwise I wouldn’t have heard Him.

There is more to the story but that’s enough for now in case I bore you into oblivion.  I find the priesthood to be a precious thing and sacred.  I still cannot believe that God called me; you see there is hope for all of us.  Seriously though, priesthood is beautiful, the friendships that you make, the ministries that you carry out, especially mourning with others during loss and when you rejoice with others when there is new life is beyond words.   I ask you to stop and think, is God calling you to the same thing?  Can you picture yourself by the altar, preaching, and celebrating mass?  Maybe like me you’re being a little stubborn or maybe a little afraid is what it actually was\is.  “Be not afraid,” step up - for you are precious and God wants you to be his herald.  And maybe, just maybe you might be a better preacher than me!

Disclaimer:  Most priests are good preachers I was just being too judgmental at that time, that’s youth and a little pride I guess.  Fr. John