Understanding Marriage

As you are well aware the Supreme Court last week issued a ruling that all 50 states must allow people of the same gender to marry one another, under the marriage equality act.  I cannot get into how or why the Supreme Court decided such; I am not a Constitutional lawyer.  As Americans we obviously hold to the Constitution and consider ourselves good and faithful servants of this great nation.  However, our fist allegiance is always to God, everything and everyone else comes second.  I am reminded of the beautiful words of Saint Thomas More prior to his execution, “I am the king’s good servant, but God’s first.”

With those words of Saint Thomas More, words by which we should all live, we as Catholics, as Christians oppose the ruling of the Supreme Court on two grounds, marriage as understood within our theology and also in our basic and fundamental understating of Natural law.

Many people have accepted the Supreme Court’s decision, even Catholics of good reputation.  They have done so by separating the idea of civil marriage from that of sacramental marriage and by forming a slogan, “love is love.”  Dealing with the slogan or rally cry first, yes it is true, no one can judge the love between two people regardless of sex, that is why and in the context of Pope Francis words when asked about homosexuals he responded, “Who am I to judge.”  I agree with Pope Francis we are not to judge, but rather hold to the dignity and sacredness of every human person regardless of sexual orientation.  With that being said we do as a Church have to address when civil laws are contrary to the Natural or Divine law.

Let’s have a look at what we as Catholics consider a sacramental marriage.  From the Catechism: 1601 "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."

Marriage finds its origin in the book of Genesis and it was instituted by God for two purposes, for happiness and the possibility of procreation.  We understand the meaning and the purpose of marriage from the biblical and catechetical perspective.  What about civil marriage, since that is not performed as a sacrament why do we still oppose same sex couples marrying one another civilly?

We oppose it because the institution of marriage comes from nature and ultimately from God.  Our understanding of marriage has always been between one man and one woman and has been so long before the Constitution was written.  The natural law is that law by which we can determine the order of things, understanding things in their nature and purpose, and knowing the difference between good and evil, i.e. right and wrong.

If someone tries to redefine something contrary to natural law we should be able to see that it is so, contrary to what it should be.  Let’s look at an easy example.  We all know that murder is wrong, for it is a grave injustice done to another human being.  Is murder wrong because we have decided so or is it wrong in its very nature regardless of how I may understand it?  You see, a madman may believe murdering brings him happiness and he may argue, “Who are you to determine what is good or bad for me?”  We are not determining what is good or bad for you, you should know that almost instinctively since that is what the natural law prompts in each of us.

With our understanding of marriage being ordained by Divine precept and something that flows from the natural law or nature itself, both created by God, then we must oppose anything called marriage that does not meet the criteria of happiness and the possibility of procreation, since marriage is life giving and same sex couples cannot meet the second criteria.

Folks must also be very careful not to throw around such slogans as “love is love or live and let live.”  If you take love is love to its logical end you will see it is highly problematic.  For instance what happens when one man or one woman wants to marry multiple partners or if siblings related by blood wish to marry, does love is love still qualify?  Live and let live is contrary to the Gospel as we are not our own but have been purchased at a price, a ransom has been paid for us, therefore we are the Lord’s and responsible to him.  We are also not to remain silent when people are in error or if they are in sin.

Again, I am not judging the love that people have for one another and I am not an expert in the sociological and biological understanding of homosexuality.  Again like Saint Thomas More, “I think none harm, I wish none harm, I do none harm.”  But in good conscience I cannot accept same sex marriages.  My understanding of the institution of marriage is shaped by our Sacred Tradition, Sacred Scripture and what I can understand through the observation of nature.

I am sure more discussion will follow as the above issue continues to be discussed.  We must be able to speak frankly with one another and not be afraid of political correctness, and yet we must remain respectful of each other.  Homilies will eventually follow that address sacramental marriage.  I did have a presentation on marriage here at the parish some months ago but that was mostly based on covenants and the discussion moved more towards annulments but maybe I need to have an open forum discussion on the understanding marriage as an institution in light of the Supreme Court’s recent decision.  Please pray for me, Fr. Sanjai, Deacon Jerry and Deacon Joe as we continue to teach the sacred Truths of our faith and that we do so always in keeping with the sacredness and dignity of each human person.  God bless you all, Fr. John